027. How closing my first business almost broke me and what I learned
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During this episode, you will learn about:
[00:52] Episode intro and what’s in for you today
[02:26] How things started with Juice Because and how it feels
[04:08] The spiral after closing the shop
[07:23] What did I do about it?
[10:28] Figuring out what I wanted
[13:44] Things I am doing different in my business now
I sometimes refer to Juice Because as my first born because let’s be honest there are so many similarities between starting your own business and having a baby. For those who don't know coles notes on my first real entrepreneurial journey, I opened a Cold pressed juice shop with a business partner back in 2014 with the dream of quitting my job and opening up my own store. The good news is we did just that. The not-so-good news we closed 3 years later.
So back to my little business baby.
When you create something from the ground up you have this intense connection and obsession with it. 24/7 was all I thought about. How to grow what to do next. Like I could never turn it off. Apologies to anyone around me at the time. I was relentless. I wasn’t going to let anything or anyone keep me from my dreams. I was the juice shop and the juice shop was me. Everything we built was pure grit. When we ultimately had to close *a story for another day and that’s a juicy one pun intended* I spiraled. I think I was in shock for a few months. The feelings of shame and being embarrassed washed over me daily, layered with the financial burden of loans left to pay and taxes to take care of. Ooof
On top of that, I feel like my entire identity had disappeared. I was so close to this business that I didn’t know who I was without it. Also over the 6 years, I got married and had two babies so it wasn’t like I could go back to who I was before the job I had before, or the lifestyle.
Friends and family would say “it wasn’t a failure, look at all you accomplished all you learned” but I couldn’t shake the feeling. At this point, my business had gone from baby to ex-boyfriend. You recount the good, the bad, and the ugly, but nothing really helps you feel better except time. And lucky for us all we have is time.
So what did I do, well I cried and felt sorry for myself for a long while, and then, I went to a therapist. Started running. Spent time with people who made me feel good, and remind me of who I was without this business.
I started a journey to figure out what I really wanted.
What do you want!??!?
Should be easy enough to answer… spoiler alert, it wasn’t. Turns out the things we are conditioned to think we want growing up aren’t always what we actually want. You find that out real quick once you get there and aren’t happy.
My downtown big office job wasn’t what I wanted.
Owning a juice shop turned out not to be what I wanted.
So, what did I want?
Now looking back at everything we went through with the juice shop I feel like I’ve lived 50 lifetimes. I knew with whatever I was going to do next would be different. I had to coach myself to believe that I wasn’t starting at square one because I wasn’t the same person. Whatever the purpose of Juice Because was it brought me to this point.
Some of the biggest humps I had to get over were 90% mental. Yes, we had and still have debt to pay off but that can all get worked out. My mental game was in shambles and I knew I had to check myself before starting again.
“My business had gone from my little baby to my ex-boyfriend”
One of them was to write down your goals. I used to hate goal setting but I don’t think I realized how powerful it is. It helps you not only plan and set in motion what you really want but also gives you a marker for when you reach it. We reached and surpassed so many of my goals with JB but by the time we hit them I was on to the next thing not even appreciating how far we came. So when we finally closed I felt like a loser when in reality I set out and accomplished everything I wanted when I first started. It was my goals and desires that had changed not my ability to reach them.
Now in my business, I spend A LOT of time really getting crystal clear on how I want to feel about my business what milestones I want to hit, and celebrating when I get there. I’m able to do this because I document my goals and big dreams and am able to see when I hit them. The crazy thing is they usually come in ways I never could have imagined.
Stay in your zone of genius and outsource the rest. When you first start out I understand you do everything but you don’t have to go it alone. Ask for help and get guidance. You don’t need to recreate the wheel. Someone out there has probably already done what you’ve done and can help you avoid a lot of mistakes.
The first big investment I made was in a few courses for social media and website design. From there after a few months in business, I hired my first coach and that’s when the ball really got rolling. I also have now hired contractors for parts of my business through programs like Fivver and work closely with my accountant to keep my books in order.
You are not your business!! Everything revolved around my business. All my free time went to my business. Now don’t get me wrong good things take a lot of hard work and attention. Being obsessed with your business isn’t bad. BUT and it’s a big BUTT you need to create boundaries for yourself, even if you don’t want to. Go for lunch with the girls, your business will be there when you get back. Take your kids to the park. Don’t answer emails after 6 pm. Again I understand there are situations where you have to be flexible but when you set your business goals point one, really think about the life you want to have. With the juice shop, I never imagined working making juice every day for the next 20 years managing staff and inventory, and working weekends because hello retail. but that’s what the shop needed. I built it that way and then when I got clearer on my real desires it wasn’t for me and I resented the beast I had created.
Now in my business, I don’t work weekends and I log off at 4:30 pm every day. I don’t take meetings before 10 am and I only work with clients that align with my values. I currently don’t have any staff because I don’t want to manage anyone but I am working my way up to being able to outsource more of my business and have more of it operate without me. I also book in nonnegotiable me time like working out with my trainer and lunches with friends. Without these personal boundaries, I would probably work all the time. Because I love what I do. And like I said there is nothing wrong with wanting to do what you love all the time. That’s the dream job right?!?? But if your true desire is to have freedom and more time with your family you shouldn’t be working all the time.
Finding the balance between the two is a constant learning process that I don’t think anyone really has figured out but if you can get to a place where you love what you do and love yourself when you’re not doing it that’s a good start.
-e
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